Monday, August 25, 2008
Why We, Men Are Just Happier People!!!
NICKNAMES
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
So the THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!!!
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
So?? Let the women who have a sense of humor, know about it and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
In addition, we, MEN are just happier, we also have better FRIENDS...
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 12:21 AM 2 comments
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Do I Love You, Dear? Definitely, Maybe...
Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) is a 38-year-old father who is in a midst of a divorce. His 10-year-old daughter Maya (Abigail Breslin) lives with her mother but is with him once or twice a week. On one of these occasions she questions him about his life before marriage. After her first sex-ed class, Maya first asks and then insists to hear the story of how her parents met and decided to get married. Will gives in, but decides to change the names and some facts, thereby creating a love mystery, with Maya guessing which of the women will be her mom. The story he tells Maya is depicted in long flashbacks. From time to time the film switches back to the present, where Maya comments and asks questions.
The story begins in 1992, where Will, a starry-eyed aspiring politician, moves away from Wisconsin and his college sweetheart, Emily (Elizabeth Banks) to New York to work on the Clinton campaign. She gives him a closed packet and asks him to give it to her friend Summer (Rachel Weisz), a reporter. In New York, he meets April (Isla Fisher), the copy girl for the campaign. Before bringing the packet to Summer, Will opens it, it is Summer's diary. Encouraged by his roommate, he reads it, and comes across pages describing a love affair between Emily and Summer. He visits Summer to bring the diary, and meets her roommate and sometimes-lover, her college professor, a famous writer named Hampton Roth (Kevin Kline).
April and Will have a chance meeting outside work, and Will eventually practices a proposal to Emily on April. April is taken aback by Will's words, and replies, "Definitely, Maybe." They go back to her apartment, where April has multiple copies of Jane Eyre in her collection, explaining that her father gave her a copy with an inscription in the front shortly before he died, and the book was shortly lost. She has spent years buying copies of Jane Eyre from secondhand stores, hoping to find the copy her father gave her. Will and April eventually kiss, with Will leaving quickly and berating himself.
Emily visits and Will proposes in the park (first by recounting the story of his parents' engagement, and then by going through the words he said to April), but Emily turns him down and confesses she slept with Will's former roommate in Wisconsin. Will is heartbroken. Time goes by and Bill Clinton becomes president of the United States, and Will moves up to become speech-writer for a candidate to be Governor of New York. April travels the world, and she and Will become pen-pals. Eventually, with the encouragement of Roth, Will and Summer become romantically involved. This ends when she writes unfavorably about the politician Will works for.
Will becomes disillusioned about his choice of profession when Bill Clinton is implicated in the Monica Lewinsky scandal. He hates his job, and starts to drink heavily. In a drunken rant, he confesses romantic feelings to April, but in the process, ends up having a fight with her, telling her to "go to life-rehab".
Years pass, and Will eventually finds the copy of Jane Eyre that April's father gave her. He goes to give it to her, but decides against it when he finds out that April and her boyfriend are living together.
Summer and Will bump into each other while he is at a cafe, and she invites him to a party. Emily also attends the party, as she now lives in New York. They end up starting up another relationship, and Emily turns out to be Maya's mother and Will's ex-wife. Will signs the divorce papers served to him. Will explains to Maya that the happy ending all along was Maya and they share a hug and part separate ways.
Maya is happy that she figured out the story, but also realizes that her father still loves April, as even though Will changed the names of Emily (Sarah in real life), and Summer (Natasha in real life), he did not change April's name. Maya's implication inspires Will to meet April at her workplace after years apart, and after learning that she is now single again, he gives her the book, but when she learns that he was holding on to it rather than giving it to her immediately, she becomes angry and asks him to leave her office.
Encouraged by Maya, who wants her father to be happy, he goes to try to win April's heart at her apartment. Though April refuses to open the door at first, she hears Maya demand that Will tell April the story exactly as he told it before. April still doesn't emerge, but as they turn to go back home, she comes outside. Will confesses to April that he held on to the copy of Jane Eyre because it was the only thing he had left of her. As the three enter into April's building, April jumps into Will's arms to kiss him. THE END...
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 7:06 PM 3 comments
Friday, August 22, 2008
NFSW: Thank You & Good Bye
After seeing so many farewells and breakups, now it is my turn to do so... my farewell... my breakup from this relationship. It took me a fucking courage to take this decision....
I will be leaving YOU to pursue another chick outside of this fucking relationship. My last fuck with you is on 25th August. Let's have a great fuck to make this a memorable one!!! Hahaha!!! There is a mix feeling towards leaving you and left you coping with this. On one hand, I'm happy as I am looking forward to new sex escapade with a new chick I just found and to start a new phase of my life. On the other hand, I'm sad that I'll won't able to fuck you anymore, banging hard till our neighbor shouted at us and enjoy your euphoria moans, yeah, I gonna really miss that as we have gone through a lot of ups and downs together. I will always cherish our memorable fucking session together and appreciate the marvelous BLOW JOB you had been giving me for years. Thank you all for making it such a special one.
Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of your great support in term of money, food, sex and entertainment that you have given to me directly and indirectly through out my relationship with you. I certainly will miss many of our sex escapade. My personal handphone number is still the same. Do keep in touch if need me to fuck with you again HARD and hopefully our paths will cross again in future, which I praying hard we do fuck again!!! Just for old time sake!!! Wakakakaka!!!
All the best to all my bitches. Thanks again for everything especially the great sex, BITCH!!!
Best regards,
KuKuJiaoMan...
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 3:29 PM 3 comments
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
WTF!!! AVRIL LAVIGNE CONCERT CANCEL!!!
The Arts, Culture and Heritage Ministry said it had decided not to permit Lavigne's show because it was unsuitable to Malaysian culture and could not be held on Aug. 29, two days ahead of independence day.
"It is not timely. It's not in the good spirit of our National Day. If we go ahead with the concert, it is contrary to what we are preparing for," said Shukran Ibrahim, a senior official from the culture ministry's department that vets all foreign artists.
The decision came after the youth wing of a fundamentalist opposition party, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, called for the show's cancellation.
Kamarulzaman Mohamed, a party youth official, told The Associated Press on Monday that Lavigne's show was "considered too sexy for us" and would promote the wrong values just before independence day.
"We don't want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models," he said.
Lavigne, who became famous with her 2002 debut album "Let's Go," had planned to launch her monthlong Asia tour in Kuala Lumpur.
The show's promoter, Galaxy Group, can request a new date for the concert, which will be considered by the ministry, Shukran said. Galaxy officials couldn't be immediately reached for comment.
Galaxy began advertising the Grammy-nominated rock singer's concert this month even though it had yet to obtain a government permit, which is mandatory for all foreign music shows. It said Monday about half the concert tickets had been sold.
Last year, R&B singer Beyonce moved her show from Malaysia to Indonesia, and Christina Aguilera skipped the country on an Asian tour after a controversy erupted over a dress code for foreign artists.
Malaysia requires all performers to wear clothes without obscene or drug-related images and be covered from the chest to the knees. They must also refrain from jumping, shouting, hugging and kissing on stage.
Still, members of PAS and other conservative Muslims often protest against Western and even Malaysian music shows that they deem to be inappropriate.
The local organizer of a Pussycat Dolls concert in 2006 was fined 10,000 ringgit (US$2,857) after the U.S. girl group was accused of flouting decency regulations.
Related News
- Avril Lavigne too sexy for Malaysia
Vancouver Sun - Lavigne 'too sexy' for Malaysia gig
The Press Association - Avril Lavigne: 'Too sexy' for Malaysia
Chicago Tribune
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 10:12 AM 1 comments
Monday, August 18, 2008
Cuteness Overwhelming... Hahahaha!!!
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 11:36 AM 1 comments
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tropic Thunder - Dozens Protest at 'Tropic Thunder' Premiere
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- "Tropic Thunder" is pushing the envelope too far for groups representing the mentally disabled.
Dozens of people from organizations such as the Special Olympics and the American Association of People with Disabilities protested the movie-industry spoof across the street from the film's Los Angeles premiere at Mann's Bruin Theatre on Monday. The protesters held up signs with slogans such as "Call me by my name, not by my label" and chanted phrases like "Ban the movie, ban the word."
The groups are outraged over scenes featuring the liberal usage of a disparaging term used to describe the mentally disabled. In the movie, director and co-star Ben Stiller plays a fame-hungry actor cast in a war movie who previously had a role as a mentally disabled character named Simple Jack.
The DreamWorks film, which opens Wednesday, also stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jack Black.
"When I heard about it, I felt really hurt inside," said Special Olympics global messenger Dustin Plunkett. "I cannot believe a writer could write something like that. It's the not the way that we want to be portrayed. We have feelings. We don't like the word retard. We are people. We're just like any other people out there. We want to be ourselves and not be discriminated against." Watch why critics are calling film "Tropic Blunder" »
Andrew J. Imparato, president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, said he and other representatives from advocacy groups representing the mentally disabled met with DreamWorks co-chair Stacey Snider and watched a private screening of the film Monday morning. Imparato called the movie "tasteless" and said it was "offensive start to finish."
"I have a sense of humor," said Imparato. "There were parts of the movie where I laughed, but it seems to me that the movie tried really hard to go too far and then pull back on everything that was offensive except the issue of people with intellectual disabilities. I just think Ben Stiller and the people involved in this movie just didn't think it was going to be offensive."
Following the original complaints from the advocacy groups, DreamWorks pulled some promotional materials, including a Web site that promoted the film-within-a-film starring Stiller's character which contained the tag line "Once there was a retard." DreamWorks spokesman Chip Sullivan previously said in a statement that "no changes or cuts to the film will be made."
"If you want to pick on people, as the old playground saying goes, pick on people your own size," said Timothy Shriver, chairman of the Special Olympics, who is calling for a boycott of "Tropic Thunder" along with the other groups. "This population struggles too much with the basics to have to struggle against Hollywood. We're sending a message that this hate speech is no longer acceptable."
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 2:32 PM 1 comments
Is This A Sex Request???
Hello, folks especially to my kukujiaoman fans!!! Long time no see... Kekekekek!!! Anyway, this morning I was shocked and happy!!! Why?? Let me tell you, early early this morning, my beloved second wife, CC, msned me saying she miss me and asking me to be more cheerful... Surprise suprise!!! I was dumbfucked for a moment. Then she forwarded email with the above picture attached... Is she requested for a sex escapade or she asking me to slim down?? *bluek* Back to work... no more dirty thinking!!! BTW, CC, I will also gonna miss you too... Hahahahhaa!!! :P
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 9:42 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Jake as Prince of Persia??
Mike Newell (HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE, DONNIE BRASCO) is directing the flick, based on the popular videogame series. I haven't played any of the games since the original side-scroller, which resulted in many plunges into spiked pits, but I assume the movie will have plenty of daring leaps, sword fights, mystical happenings, and sand.
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 5:37 PM 1 comments
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Food Foundry...
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 11:47 PM 1 comments
Monday, August 04, 2008
Everytime I Close My Eyes, I Dreamt of You...
Artist: Babyface
Song: Everytime I Close My Eyes
Girl it's been a long, long time comin', yes it has
But I, I know that it's been worth the wait
It feels like springtime in winter
It feels like Christmas in June
It feels like heaven has opened up it's gates for me and you
CHORUS:
Every time I close my eyes
I thank the lord that I've got you
And you've got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself cuz I don't believe it's true
That someone like you loves me too
Girl I think that you're truly somethin', yes you are
And you're, you're every bit of a dream come true, yes you are
With you baby, it never rains
And it's no wonder
The sun always shines when I'm near you
It's just blessing that I have found somebody like you
Ooh Oh
CHORUS
To think of all the nights I've cried myself to sleep
You really oughta know how much you mean to me
It's only right, it's only right
(In my life) that you be in my life right here with me
Oh baby, baby, yeah
(-Kenny G. sax solo-)
I'll tell you girl that...
(Chorus to fade)
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 11:16 AM 1 comments
Bowl, bowl and bowl till My Thumb Sore!!!
Smeared by k u k u j i o a m a n at 12:13 AM 2 comments